Matt's final road trip

Today begins Matt's final road trip! I feel a little sad about it, will have to rev up my sense of humor. I feel like we're moving into sacred time again. The hawk outside has been whistling like crazy all morning. Matt's ashes have been here since May, in the wooden urn pictured in the last post, but now he'll travel with Jim and me to Peninsula to spend a few days with Fred. We'll pick up Rachel at the airport on Monday night, then head out to Colorado. Rachel will be exhausted from jet lag, but at least early mornings will be good for her. We are all looking forward to meeting more of Matt's friends. Paul is investigating camp grounds in Rollinsville for Erin and other people who might want to camp out. Here's wishing safe and happy trails for everyone! --Lynn, Jim, and Rachel

Putting the final touches on the burial ritual

Since the aftermath of a huge storm left us without electricity for two days, I had time to work on some non-technological projects, like painting the Egyptian-style falcon on the oak box that contains Matt's ashes. Like many of these final details, it was a bit harder than I'd thought it would be. (It took me three days of Mac/PC/printer hassles to print the service flyers.) It's not perfect, but Jim commented that imperfections often make things look better. (Note to self: next time you do this, get someone you know to make the box; it would be much more personal. And personal is what it's all about.)

The final party: announcing Matt's burial service

On Saturday, August 6 at 11am we will have a memorial and burial service for Matt at Sacred Heart of Mary cemetery in Boulder. We held a funeral service for Matt after he died, but it was very sad because, of course, we were all pretty much in a state of shock. Now that we've all had some time to digest the experience of losing Matt, we can celebrate his life with a more festive memorial service. There will be prayers and music and readings, we'll bury Matt's ashes in a place with a beautiful view of the Flatirons, and in keeping with Matt's love of cooking and eating, we'll share a meal. We've circulated flyers and emails, and everyone is welcome.


Here's a view of the cemetary looking towards North Boulder. Matt's great grandmother, Edythe Zurewich, and great aunt, Mary Ellen Conway, are also buried here. Matt will be buried beside his cousin, Emma Willey, who died when we all lived together in North Carolina.

Colorado family gathering

Colorado family gathering #2
Originally uploaded by ppfalcon.

Natalie, Matt, Lynn, Rachel, Drew, Jane, Georgia at Mom and Paul's house in Rollinsville, June 2004. Check out my Flickr account for an alternate pose. In this one you can see the yin-yang tattoo on Matt's leg that he designed himself, also the Vampirella and Horus tatts on his right arm that are obscured in the previously posted photo with Natalie. Amy took this photograph. It's bittersweet to think that this was the last time all of us (except for Mom) saw Matt.

Pictures from the party after Matt's funeral

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 we held a blessing service to say good-bye to Matt at a funeral home in Lafayette, Colorado, a few miles from the cemetary on South Boulder Road where we will be burying his ashes in August. These are photos from the party we had afterwards at the Rouse's. We shared Chinese food, beer, and lots of stories about Matt.

Mary Ellen and Mary

Rachel tells a story to Kyle, Dave, Sarah, Tony, and Monica

Mary, James, and Bonnie

Monica, Georgia, Giles

Steve, Jane, Jess

Matt and Natalie June 2004

We had a nice family gathering for lunch at Paul and Georgia's house in Rollinsville last June: Aunt Jeanne, Matt, Lynn, Rachel, Georgia, Amy, Jane, Drew, and Natalie. I'm so glad Amy snapped this photo. There are also some group pics I'll upload sometime soon. Matt stacked firewood for Boops, and paid Drew five dollars for helping him. Mom loaded up Matt with super healthy cookies and treats when he took the bus back to Denver.

Matt by the woodpile 1982

I just realized that this picture hanging on the wall in the hall upstairs is the only copy I have of this old photo, which I've always loved. Since Grant and Matt have died, I'll probably never see all those old baby photos that Grant kept after our divorce.

On dreefees, pinos and takelos

In David James Duncan’s The River Why one of the more interesting characters (in a book filled with interesting characters), young Bill Bob Orviston, has a gift for language. He invents the word dreefee to describe “some carefully selected relic of the day’s adventures” to focus on as part of an elaborate bedtime ritual. Matthew had a real gift for coinage when he was little. I used to write down some of the words he invented. An early one was moodoo-scoodoos: I’m not sure what he meant by this word, maybe he just enjoyed the sound of it. He also called adults redults—suggesting that we are all retarded in some way—and referred to his favorite fruit cantaloupe as canvelope,an interesting way to describe a fruit enveloped in a hard skin. Two of the more lasting words were takelo and pino. A takelo is one of those soft erasers shaped in the form of an object, often an animal, that were popular gumball machine treats in the 1980s. "I lost my takelo" was a common expression in our house years ago. A pino is a neat place to hang out. The original pino was at Boops and Pepys's house on the Western slope of Colorado, a comfortable place on the haystack with a spectacular view of the mountains where Matt and his friend Wilson used to hang out. Matt was 3 years old at the time. In later years Rachel used the word to describe the indoor forts she built out of sheets and pillows.