Mom's bagels

This photo of Matt recently turned up in a stack of old papers. It must have been taken in 2000 because he's wearing the same clothes he wore in the graduation pictures. He is sitting at the kitchen table in our old house in town; this must have been around the time Kim came to visit us. Rachel pointed out that on the plate in front of him is one of my homemade bagels, one of his favorites. He really like the "everything" variety, with onion, garlic, and seeds. People reading this wiki must think that the only thing our family ever does together is eat. [NOTE: I'm using Blogger Images to load photos since I've used up all the Flickr space allotted for this month. It works pretty well, even using our snail-paced dial-up, and you can still click on the images to see a larger view.]

Birthday boy

In honor of what would have been Matthew's 24th birthday, today I baked Maida Heatter's Queen Mother's Cake, a chocolate cake made with ground almonds instead of flour, with a luscious chocolate ganache frosting. We'll cut a piece for the birthday boy. Happy birthday, Matt!

Matthew's Birthday Cheesecake

Matt was two or three years old when I baked this cheesecake for his birthday. It was my second try; the first I had to throw out because it didn't set properly--I also threw out the funky health-food-type cookbook that had that first recipe in it (it ticks me off when people publish recipes without trying them first). This recipe worked perfectly. I copied it onto a postcard Michael sent me when he and Takako (pictured in a previous post) were still living in Japan. Matt's birthday is tomorrow; he would have been 24.

Of course, Matt loved the cheesecake, but then he was never particularly fussy about food. He ate everything I put in front of him--except raw tomatoes.

Portrait of Matt and Rachel 1998

Okay, I guess we should have trimmed Rachel's hair before this one.

Michael & Takako's visit in 1985

Alfalfa's 1985
Originally uploaded by ppfalcon.

My friend Michael recently sent these photo files from a visit to Boulder in 1985. Matt was 3 1/2 when these pictures were taken. Michael and Takako had just moved to the California from Japan. Takako was getting used to hearing English, and couldn't say very much, but I remember that she and Matt didn't have any trouble communicating.


Eating ice cream on the Pearl Street Mall. Probably Haagen-Dazs.



Checking out my beautiful potato plants.


Grant took this photo near my vegetable garden. The sky looks so neat.

Sharing a space

An hour before Matt's burial service there was a ceremony for Emma Willey, Matt's cousin who is buried in the same grave with him. Here Faith is leading the service, and Amy is about to direct the bells for "Jesus Loves Me." It was a sweet little ceremony. Emma died years ago, when Matt and his cousins were young and we were all living together in North Carolina. Amy and Dan have kept her ashes in a little ceramic container for all these years, and now she'll be sharing a space with her cousin.

At some point we will get a marker for the grave. Dan Willey is in charge of this last detail, but since we've never had to make decisions like this before, he wants to study on it before making a choice.

Family gathering August 2005

Family gathering August 2005
Originally uploaded by lynnikins.

Here's the whole gang gathered at the beautiful Mountain Pines Lodge that Paul found for us in Nederland: Robert, Amy, Lynn, Georgia, Jane, and Mary Ellen. We had a big family party after Matt's memorial service. It was a lot of fun. Mom made enormous quantities of pizza dough and we had a make-your-own-pizza party. My personal favorite was Rob Willey's sausage and sliced apple, but Ben Willey's garlic sticks with dipping sauce was a close second. There were lots of stories, the usual political and religious banter, a great deal of laughing, some Ghanayan and salsa dancing, and an intense Monopoly game. It was the best wake ever--at least for Matt's family. His friends continued their party at someone's place in Denver. We'll all be partying in Matt's name for years.

Mountain Pines Lodge

Matt's urn on the hearth
Originally uploaded by lynnikins.

I will always be grateful to Paul for finding us a gorgeous place to stay during our Colorado visit. The Lodge is in beautiful, cool Nederland, just a few miles from Mom and Paul's house in Rollinsville. We enjoyed the spacious living areas, elegant tiled showers, funky deer antler decor, and the large working kitchen and dining area perfectly suited for people who love to cook and eat. The Lodge served as Party Central for our family, with Mom and Paul creating wonderful feasts every night: Paul's smoked ham and ribs and homemade bratwurst, and jalapeno-spiked cole slaw; Mom's pizza marathon, sauerkraut and apples, and killer giant-sized chocolate cookies. Starting the day with a cup of Paul's Mexican altura coffee was also a real treat. The Thiel/Stewarts and Barones stayed here for about a week, and we had plenty of room for Eric, Faith, and Alice to spend the night on Friday before Matt's service.

Matt's ashes sat on his baby quilt on the fireplace hearth throughout his last days above ground--it was neat because it was so great to play and sing music every night in the living room. The Lodge was a perfect temporary home for our family as we gathered to celebrate Matt's life. I'll always have a soft place in my heart for this lovely space in the world.

Dance the night away

Here's Mom, Aunt Nancy and Aunt Jeanne getting down their moves during a late-night kitchen cleaning party after the post-funeral party. Actually, it was pretty much one continuous party at the Mountain Pines Lodge in Nederland.

Last Family portrait

Last Family portrait
Originally uploaded by ppfalcon.

Amy found these three photos of Matt she took in June 2004, including our last family portrait. It's great to have black and white photos, since they have better archival quality. Thanks, Amy!

It's still feels sad to look at these photos of our last time together and realize that Matt is gone. But it makes me happy to think that our last visit with Matt was a happy and positive experience, and that he was at his grandmother's house, surrounded by people who loved him.


Here we are outside the church in Aurora where Anne and Jorge were married. Matt took a cab and arrived a little late, but Rachel and I were so happy to see him.


I love this informal photo of us sitting around Boops and Peeps's table at their house in Rollinsville, enjoying one of Mom's delicious meals. Eating meals together is a big thing in our family, a tradition Matt continued by making meals for his friends.

Brave New World

Brave New World, Lakewood, Colorado
Originally uploaded by ppfalcon.

The day before we left Colorado, Rachel and I spent about three hours at Brave New World Tatooing & Piercing in Lakewood. Jim was kind enough to drive us there, skirting a major tractor trailer accident on I-70 to get us to Lakewood in time for our noon appointment. We met Eric, the tattoo artist who inked Matt's beautiful tarot card tattoo. Eric gave us the photos of Matt he had in his portfolio, which was a big thrill for Rachel and me, since he had told us about the tattoo but we had never seen it except in a photo Steve Mares gave us, in which you couldn't see the entire design. Eric tattooed the Horus falcon design from Matt's urn onto my forearm and Rachel's bicep. We both felt that it was important to have this powerful symbol as a permanent reminder of Matt's impact on our lives. Anyway, Eric was great, meticulously careful and considerate, and very informative as well. He played music while he worked, an eclectic mix of politicized hip-hop and rock.


Even though he is a good-looking guy, Eric wasn't crazy about having his photo taken, perhaps because of his wicked sunburn from playing horseshoes all day in the sun.

Brave New World is a classy place, and Eric, a true artist, does beautiful work. He showed us some large designs he is working on, including one for one of Matt's friends. Eric said he had considered removing Matt's photos from his portfolio because he didn't want to capitalize on his death, but we encouraged him to put them in again, because Matt really loved his tatts, and we want people to remember him.


Here is the outline of Matt's tattoo, which required hours of concentration, and a very steady hand. Check out the large size on Flickr to see the intricate detail. Mom (Georgia) noticed the ram at the bottom, my Aries zodiac symbol, which is pretty neat.


Here's the design after Eric added the colors. Eric told us that the development and availability of new colors has revolutionized tattoo art. The date on the photo is 01/04/05, one of Matt's final artistic projects. Eric said he and Matt had been planning to eventually cover his arm with more designs.


Newest member of the ppfalcon club.

O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in it!
-Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act 5

Dang!

One of the things we and the Willeys joked about was the curious juxtaposition of this headstone to Matt/Emma's grave. At one point in time it was one of Matt's favorite expressions. Apologies to the family that bears this name--but I think we honor Matt's memory by seeing the humor in things. After the service there was a llama in the field pictured here, as well as a hawk flying overhead that turned out to be a turkey vulture. Oh well, bird identification was never one of my strong points.

Hear you me my friends

Matt got a great send-off from his friends and family. We had a beautiful ceremony for him, sitting under the trees at the Sacred Heart of Mary cemetery. A highlight was Faith Perrizo's lovely homily, in which she reminded us that Matt's unconventional view of the world was yet another reflection of God's love for us. Since music was such a big part of Matt's life, we had three musical performances: a lovely Hawaiian folk song played by Matt's cousin Eric Willey; Jimmy Eat World's "Hear You Me" (this was the "emo music" mentioned in the flyer) performed by Matt's Uncle Tim Barone and Aunt Mary Ellen Hopkins; and the old Grateful Dead song "Ripple" led by Tim and Mary Ellen. Many tears were shed, but it was all good because we all participated in the healing power of ritual.

Many thanks to everyone who came to honor Matt, especially his friends who drove from Canyon City and Denver, and people who traveled from far away: Camille, Janice, Ezra, Amy and Dan, Rob and Lygie, Edith, Ben, Alice, Monica, Mary, James, Wesley, Bill, Rusty and his beautiful daughters, Aunt Nancy, Gramps and Sandy, Mary Ellen, Richard H, Jessica, Yancy, Josh, Mike, Richard Q, Kim, Kenna, Logan, Luke, Ian, Patricia, Cassandra, Elyse, James W, Adam, Casey, Ken, Suzanne, Steve, Brandon, Damon, Hannah, Dale, Dylan, David, Uncle Bob, Eric W, Uncle Mike and Aunt Jeanne, Susan, Elizabeth, Dan, Sarah, Dave, Eric, Zach, Charlie, Faith, and others whose names we don't have, and everyone who was with us in spirit.

Unfortunately, I was too busy participating in the event to take enough pictures. But here are a few.


It was great to see Matt's good friend Kim, who recently moved to Denver from Durango. Matt and Kim were going to look for a new apartment together at the time of his death.


The grave where Matt and his cousin Emma were buried was surrounded by live flowers from Paul's flower shop. Rachel and I found the Colorado Native sticker on his urn on our trip out--to honor Matt's sense of humor. Grandma Boops made the baby quilt Matt's urn is resting on.


Hanging around the gravesite, the Willeys and Thiel/Stewarts were the last to leave. As you can see from this picture, we were joking and laughing a lot.


Before it was filled with dirt, the grave was filled with flowers and handwritten notes, a red rose from his mother, a lock of his sister's hair, a feather (tribute to ppfalcon), a Skipper toy he used to play with at Gramps and Sandy's house, and many other personal tributes from his friends.